“Something happened inside me. A huge and uncontrollable wave ran through me and crashed on the shore that was my heart.”— Benjamin Alire Sáenz
1. Make up your mind to do things differently. Make the decision to turn this thing around. You have all the power you need, and you can make this work for you.
2. Decide to only work on one habit at a time. That focuses your mind, and your will to succeed.
3. Design a plan that is attractive and rewarding. If the pain exceeds the gain then you may not persevere. There must be something that’s enticing to make it seem worthwhile.
4. Nuke your negative thinking. You know that things will be tough and you’ll be tempted to give up – but plan in advance so you can push through trying times. For example, imagine how you’ll feel when you are living differently, and you’ve broken with the habit, and are basking in success.
5. Know the worst times of day, and the times you struggle most. Then come up with a plan so you cope better with those. But … make sure your ideas work, and are attractive enough, as it’s hard to keep on going when we’re low on energy.
6. Keep it simple. A harsh or complex plan can be too hard to implement. But making simple changes feels much more doable. (Also, remind yourself “it’s easy – and it’s not that hard to do.”)
7. Notice your successes. And reward yourself with that. Your effort’s paying off – and you are closer to your goal.
1. Be generous with your smiles
2. Listen attentively when people talk to you.
3. Be warm and friendly. If you don’t know the people in the group, be the first one to introduce yourself.
4. Pay others compliments (make sure they are genuine – and not fake).
5. Be considerate and polite to both friends and strangers.
6. If you’re going to a party or social event, offer to be the designated driver.
7. Turn up on time (or arrive a few minutes early).
8. Overlook minor mistakes.
9. Never shame or embarrass others.
10. Give people the benefit of the doubt. If uncertain, think the best, not the worst of others.